Tidying...A Relationship with Yourself

Marie Kondo has a wonderful blog and there is one post in particular, "Finding Joy Within", I would like to share with you. She recently spoke with an award-winning clinical therapist and interpersonal architect Dr. Judith Coché. Dr. Coché says the most intimate relationship you can have with anyone in the world is the one you have with yourself. She also says that if there is an area in your life you don’t want to look at then that means you can absolutely deny it no longer. In fact, she says to put it under a microscope until you’ve cozied up to it and adjusted whatever needs adjusting. Basically make friends with your flaws or emotional pain. Also, speaking to yourself the way you would speak to a friend in need is the way we must speak to ourselves and this is vital.

For myself, tidying has allowed me to live a more fluid and fruitful life. When I was younger the vision for myself was very unclear. I loved art and languages and honestly interior design was my favorite thing. At times I would stay up all night thinking about how to redesign my room with furniture placement and paint colors. Tidying my room would give me a shiny new car feeling on the inside combined with insurmountable amounts of love for the hard work I had done. However, as my high school education was coming to an end I was told I should pursue business or something along those lines because it was a safer path. As you can see, my path was clear to me but I didn’t listen to my inner guide back then.

As I gained more wisdom in my later twenties, by removing physical clutter, I gained the insight as to what I wanted my life to look like. I struggled in college and couldn’t commit to a path towards earning my degree. The harder I tried the harder it became to complete school assignments and go to class. I decided something was trying to get my attention and so I put that goal on hold. When I did, I realized the goal to graduate college was never mine in the first place. It became clear that I was meant to start my own path and create a business that focused on helping people. I attribute the cultivation of this clarity to the removal of the things in my life that didn’t serve a purpose. In addition to college, I also discarded a car payment I didn’t want and a job I felt no longer fit with me. It may seem a bit reckless or irresponsible but I was desperate to feel an internal sense of peace and find my inner compass.

It’s rather funny that by becoming a college drop-out I made room for the life I wanted to manifest. My tidying business literally took off over night after I took the leap of faith to find what had been trying to find me all along. I liken it to a garden or a piece of earth that is covered in weeds and dirt with no defined boundaries or attractiveness. Once the unwanted organic material is removed, the vision for the space becomes clear and it even beckons one to then create something based on one’s inner desire. This is why tidying and caring for your home can be so powerful. By removing physical clutter, or what I like to call external noise, you can start to hear the voice of your inner guide as well.

By no means am I suggesting that anyone drop out of college or quit anything that you are currently doing. For me, this was what I needed to make my heart happy. To this day that inner guide speaks very loudly and very clearly because I’ve practiced listening and trusting its wisdom. I urge my clients to see their home and life this way and once they’ve begun to tidy, their lives take off like a rocket ship into places they never dreamed were possible. One client found her dream home soon after we tidied together, another lost a lot of weight and made adjustments to her home so that she could have a roommate and earn extra income, and several clients have reported just feeling good and are full of more energy and mental clarity in their living space after our tidying sessions.

Reflecting on all the work I’ve done with myself and my clients I’ve realized there’s nothing outside of me that can give me what I truly need on the inside. Adding too many material items to my living space, which includes when the fridge is too full or my car needs a good cleanup, actually makes me feel overwhelmed and anxious and most of my clients report feeling the same way. There’s something to be said for packing light and I urge you to try it for yourself.

Thanks for reading and to read the entire blog post by Dr. Coché you can go here.