Eff it!
Sometimes you just have to go all in and say eff it to fear and illusion. I've encountered some of the most amazing people in the last few days all of whom are new and old clients. The first person is a lady that just survived cancer and is probably the most beautiful woman I've ever met. She and her husband have a teenage son and he wanted to go to East Highschool so badly they moved from their 2m dollar home and squeezed into a tiny apt for 9 months just so he could be in district. While they lived in the tiny apt they allowed a family that was going through a tough time to use their home while they got back on their feet. The fact that she survived cancer is a feat in and of itself but her willingness to live spontaneously is what captivated my attention.
The 2nd person is an attorney who does pro-bono work for people in shelters, who are homeless. She lost her husband a few years ago to cancer and shes had to learn how to take care of everything for herself all alone with 20 years of memories and things in her house. Her voice sounds like a song bird when she speaks but I can see the fear in her eyes. I gave her a hug at the end of her consultation. I sensed that it surprised and comforted her. Since we've started the work in her home she's gone through a lot of physical challenges and so it seems that a lot of pent up emotions are being purged.
The 3rd person is a woman who is a self-chosen single mother that adopted a boy from Russia when he was a year old. She is severely struggling with his violent behavior and he is only 7 years old. I see how strong she is but the fear of what to do with him is getting worse. Still day in and day out she loves this boy even if it means sacrificing her own happiness and the possibility of being with the man she loves.
The 4th person is a woman who runs a rape crisis center and is a psychologist. I helped her organize her closet. The few times I've seen her, we've laughed and laughed about why dating sucks, about funny pet stories, and about the reality of rape. She tells me stories about the people she sees in her clinic but if you met her you'd never know what she did for a living because she's so light and carefree.
I see these women weekly and I observe them in their lives. I try to see myself in them because I know there is a part that is a reflection of me and there's something for me to learn. Well, what we all have in common is that we are all women with a choice. The cancer survivor makes the choice to be happy, she smiles the whole time I'm at her house. The attorney makes the choice to help others even though she is faced with many painful life experiences including the death of her husband. He's been gone for over 5 years and we are just now donating all of his belongings so she can get ready to sell her home. The 4th person teaches yoga on top of running the rape crisis center. She makes the choice every day to go to a place that has little to no funding and isn't supported by the police dept. She does it merely because people need help.
Well who the hell am I to complain about anything....ever?
I'm no one compared to these strong self-made women. Or maybe they are a reflection of my strength and their faces tell me I can do it no matter what comes down the line. I'm sure there are many lessons I will learn from all of them just by being in their presence. One thing I'm learning is that tragedy or difficulty is really just put in our path to make us realize what strong human beings we truly are.
I paid 3k in taxes yesterday and I was very close to writing a thank you note to the IRS for giving me the opportunity to be honest and make a living. I must be crazy but I was really excited to write the check simply because I had the money to pay it. Attitude and attention are the only two things we own and can control and I’m grateful for being able to tell you this story.
Thanks for reading this.
Kate
