love, work, and play…a balance

This past weekend I spent some time with some of my fellow KonMari consultants. A few months ago one of the consultants posted on Facebook that they were having a meet-up in San Francisco at a chinese restaurant. I wanted to reconnect in person with the women that speak my same language when it comes to tidying, I also love San Francisco, and I needed to catch up on some work, so I saw it as a work-trip/kate-needs-to-get-away-too-trip

Friday evening we had dinner at a beautiful Chinese restaurant in the financial district near Sacramento and Drumm streets. It was one of those evenings where the sun was barely going down but you could see the almost full moon right above our heads. We talked about how we came to be consultants, personal stories about the method, and our mission going forward. I was surrounded by beautiful strong women who just love helping people. I had my first Chinese dumpling, a glass of chardonnay, and I tried a dessert that I can’t remember the name of, but it was delicious.

On Saturday I woke up to a blanket of fog and decided to walk to the Starbucks about 10 mins away from my quaint and quiet Airbnb in Oakland. On my way back the KonMari girls texted me and told me to call the Korean spa they were going to so I could join them for some self-care. I hopped in an Uber and headed back into the city to see what they were so excited about. If you haven’t been to a Korean spa I highly recommend trying it.

Step number 1: Get completely naked and there’s no talking or cell phones allowed (it’s a women-only spa, so don’t worry)

Step 2: Step into hot tub for 20 minutes. Next, quickly plunge into cold tub for as long as you can stand it (still fully naked). Then grab your towel and place it under your bare bum so you can sit in the dry sauna again for as long as you can stand it. Finally, head into the steam room where you’ll feel your pours say “thank you” as they take in all the warm moisture with a eucalyptus scent.

Step 3: Put on pink satin robe and jelly slippers and head to the Himalayan salt relaxation room. The floor is filled with pink salt. You lay on a woven yoga mat next to a wall that is made of the same salt and remain here for 15-20 minutes.

I will admit it's hard to relax when you are naked in a room with other women who are also naked. I'm ashamed to also admit not having my phone made me feel a bit out of place but after a while, I fell into deep contemplation and forgot where I was.

Then you head into the clay ball room which is similar to the salt room but it is very dark with red lightbulbs. The dark reddish clay balls are supposedly very healing for the body, and I will admit I felt amazing in this room.

Step 4: Time for the scrub down. You enter a room that has, in this case, 2 Korean women in bras and underwear and 2 straight plastic padded tables separated by a tiled half wall. “Take off robe and lay down”, she’ll say, and for me, because I was so relaxed from all the rooms and plunging, I agreed and laid down. I laid on my back, and she took a large pan of warm water and poured it over me, then she placed two washcloths over my vulnerable parts and started scrubbing my feet. She scrubbed every square inch of my body, and each time she told me to turn I could see the table was covered in my dead, grey, skin. Weird. More scrubbing and more scrubbing, and if I had to guess, I’d say she scrubbed me for 30 mins straight.

Next was a rose oil massage followed by a facial and hair washing. The whole process took an hour and when I stood up she had to help me get my balance. I don’t know what this treatment does to the body on a scientific level, but I felt brand new, like a baby.

Step 5: Sit and drink some herbal tea, maybe do your hair and make-up in the hair and make-up room if that’s your thing. Finally, after 3 hours of pampering and what feels like a mind-altering experience, it’s time to get dressed.

I can only tell you I didn’t feel like myself, I felt renewed in all the ways one can be. I hopped in my Uber to find a coffee shop and do some work. Three hours passed, I sipped on an iced mint herbal tea, and playing on my AirPods for those entire 3 hours was T’Pau’s 1987 release of Heart and Soul. Do you remember that song? One thing I didn’t mention at the beginning of this blog was that this was also supposed to be a romantic weekend with a friend that I’ve loved for 20 years. It’s a long story but listening to this song for 3 hours straight I guess was my way of healing. The lyrics definitely resonated and each time it started over it felt brand new.

Work finished! I walked 20 minutes to Trader Joe’s in Rockridge to get a bottle of water. The sun was so beautiful and the leaves were also starting to change like they are here in Colorado. People were playing live music, and it felt like everyone and everything was full of love. I then got the notion to walk to the nearest tattoo shop. I found one and it was another 20-minute walk but it was so nice outside I made the trek only to find out that they were an all-women shop, yay! and by appointment only, shoot! Luckily for me, since I hadn’t eaten yet, right next to the tattoo shop was a cute beer pub that served salad and wine too. I had a chicken caesar with a glass of Pinot Grigio.

The girls checked in on me and asked if I’d join them for dinner at a Japanese place called Rintaro. I’ve not seen a building as beautiful and the whole experience was poetic. From the warm washcloth at the beginning, and chopsticks laying artfully on their stone rest, to the delicious dessert at the end, my heartache was a little less and Heart and Soul was still playing in my head.

Waiting in line at Rintaro with the full moon reminding me of my purpose.

Hopping in Ubers over the weekend cost about $300, so when the girls said I could crash at their Airbnb in the city and they’d also give me a ride to the airport in the morning (and I’m shaking my head as I write this) I was grateful and relieved. I will say, I met some very interesting foreigners from Brazil, Afghanistan, and many other countries. They were all very kind, and on the longer rides, I was able to hear the endearing stories they told of their homeland. One guy was on his second marriage and loved being in California and loved being married, another guy missed Afghanistan so much and we both agreed it was like nursing a broken heart over a lover we were missing. A third driver from India I asked about his faith and he said he was Muslim. I asked if he loved it and he said yes. I said I couldn’t imagine not having something bigger than myself to believe in and be devoted to. He agreed and asked me if I loved the path I am on and I said yes too.

View from backseat of one of my Uber trips!

Sunday morning one of the girls mentioned wanting to go to a popular bakery and that we had to get there early to get in line before they opened and she was right. When we arrived there were about 10 people ahead of us and only a few minutes after we arrived the line wrapped around the building. I ordered and paid through their app on my phone. Within a few minutes, an almond milk latte arrived, and then a cilantro omelet with freshly baked bread, avocado, and bacon on the side. The ladies and I chit-chatted about the Korean spa and what a hoot the whole thing was, they also both talked of their husbands and how each one met their guys. One has been with hers for over 20 years, and the other for over 30 years. Heart and Soul was still playing in my head and my heart twinged but I realized I was right where I belonged.

Figuring out how to order fresh bread to-go on the app!

I looked around. The high-ceilinged warehouse-style room was filled with off-white round paper lanterns that matched the off-white backdrop of painted brick walls, and it wasn’t lost on me that the paint color at Tartine is the same color I have on all of my walls at home. Their corner lot was nothing but windows from floor to ceiling, and as families and young and old people dined, their machines were making fresh bread and croissants for everyone to see. My creativity was stirring. We hopped in the car this time and on our way to the airport, I decided that writing and painting are now my new pursuits.

One of the ladies and I had the same flight time so we decided to sit and chat a bit more about life and relationships. I told her that her marriage inspired me to step forward into this new version of myself. She is one of the strongest women I know. Her boundaries are solid and unbending and she loves herself like no one I’ve ever met. She showed me a photo of her family standing in front of a large mountain in Canada. Their three smiles matched like perfectly placed fabric on a quilt, their hair all blowing in the wind, and their poses looked like the camera had caught them dancing in the moment.